Portal 3 Aperture Again!
by terminalvelocityrunner
Summary: What may have happened if the sun had gone out when Chell escaped from the Aperture Labs faculty. Some of the information may not be accurate. But hey, I aim to please. There are more characters in it but it just gives me four. This story is dedicated to 93MANIAC. Rated M just in case. On PARTIAL HIATUS.
1. The sun goes out

"Don't come back" was the only words echoing in Chell's mind as she looked at her old Companion Cube. 'I guess I should start walking now' thought Chell. Just as she began to move, everything went pitch black.

The sun had finally burnt out. 'Well, I'm definitely fucked! Now what do I do?' thought Chell. A few minutes passed. Those minutes because hours. Those hours turned into days. All the while the temperature was gradually dropping. 'I know she said not to come back, but what choice do I have now?' thought Chell. she looked back at the shed and saw something inside was glowing slightly. Upon closer inspection, she found a computer terminal with the Aperture Science logo on the screen.

"I know you are still out there fatty" said the computer. 'GLaDOS, I know you said not to come back, but something's wrong with the sun' typed Chell. "So you still haven't figured it out yet? You really are stupid. The sun is dead!" said GLaDOS. 'what do you mean?' Chell typed in. "Wow…just wow…you're on the fine line between being more stupid than that moron that almost blew us both up!" sighed GLaDOS. 'Well, I haven't seen a single sign of there being other people alive out here, so now what do I do?' asked Chell. "You see why I didn't want you leaving?! I just didn't want you to know that you're the only living person left on the planet!" said GLaDOS.

'So can I come back?' questioned Chell hopefully yet fearfully. "Just get your fat self into the elevator and we'll talk later. The camera up there has like 13 pixels on it. I hope you haven't eaten too much when you were out there. As if you really needed to" said GLaDOS. Chell just shrugged her shoulders and walked into the elevator.

"Well if you want to live here, we had better get something straight. You aren't going to be living here for free. In exchange for your living here, you are going to be doing testing for me several times a week. Is that clear?" said GLaDOS. Chell nodded quickly. "You're probably pretty thirsty since you didn't move from the escape elevator. Here" said GLaDOS as she had one of the test robots bring Chell a cup of coffee.

Chell downed the cup and began to feel a burning in her throat. "There, I put nanobots in the coffee to fix that vocal problem of yours" said GLaDOS. "Thanks GLaDOS" said Chell. "And the new test chambers are finished. The elevator to them is behind you" said GLaDOS.

"I'll get started on them now GLaDOS" said Chell as she descended in the elevator. "Now on to more important things" said GLaDOS. She then began using the maintenance arms below her to build a feminine android body.

Meanwhile, Chell was on the third test chamber. This one consisted of a pit of acid, a row of turrets, a hard light bridge, a button connected to the exit door, and another one behind the turrets with a weighted cube on a platform in the acid.

While Chell was busy testing, GLaDOS had finished the Android and had it plugged into the core transfer terminal. "Finally! If this works out, I can get out of this stupid chassis whenever I want!" said GLaDOS happily. "Core one, are you ready to start the procedure?" said the announcer. "Yes! I'm Ready!" said GLaDOS impatiently. "Core two, are you ready to start the procedure?" asked The announcer. "Yes she is!" said GLaDOS. "Core transfer now comencing! Please stand by!" said the announcer.

The yellow light on GLaDOS' chassis went out and the eyes of the android began to glow yellow instead. "Core transfer complete!" said the announcer. "Hmm, I wonder what Chell will think of this new body" wondered GLaDOS.


	2. Living arrangements

(Note. I recently got a guest review about the fact that if the sun did go out, then everything will slow down molecularly and stop. So even if they do stay underground, they would still die. I've got a question for him/her. How many times have you seen T in any of my fanfictions. She's in almost if not all of them. This all takes place in HER MULTIVERSE. Here, if it wasn't already obvious enough, things don't work normally as she plays with the stories' characters and plot to make anything work like it was always meant to be! And even if she wasn't behind it, this is the fictional game universe. Here, a normal person can punch a stone wall until it breaks and not feel anything. Here, you can use seven glowing gems to turn into a basic demigod. Here, you can sit around and have a conversation with a pink blob who has the ability to eat the universe. Here, a central star's death would have little impact on the characters if they stay underground. So please don't bother me when I've already explained that nothing follows real world physics and science!)

Chell was just about to finish a test chamber when she turned around and saw a woman who looked about her age with blonde hair and yellow eyes looking at her. "Wah! Who are you and how did you get here?!" said Chell after recovering from the initial shock of seeing another what she thought was a human.

"Sorry about that Chell, but it's just me" said GLaDOS. "Oh…well, how can you be here if you're running the faculty upstairs?" asked Chell. "I got tired of not being able to walk around on my own so I made a bio-mechanical body to insert my conscience into. I can still control the whole place from my new body" said GLaDOS.

Chell made an 'oh okay' face. "So anyways, if we are going to be living together, we might as well get aquatinted on a more personal level. Also, are you hungry?" asked GLaDOS. "Now that you mention it, yes. What's to eat?" asked Chell. "This is the tricky part. We are practically out of food. The only source of food we have until we can solve this problem is the wheat on the surface. And if we don't want to starve or eat the gel, which proved to be a terrible idea when Cave Johnson tried to eat it, we had better hope that my two testing boots have gathered enough wheat for the next few weeks or so. And that just makes me think about the moron up in space whenever I hear the word 'wheat'!" grumbled GLaDOS.

On their way into the kitchen of the faculty, Chell asked GLaDOS why Carolyn was even in her brain. "To start off with, when I tried to delete Carolyn when I was sending you away after I got my chassis back from the moron, I didn't know that would be impossible to actually do. So the moment that all-too-happy announcer said that I had done so, she just popped right back into my memory. Carolyn was my name when I was still a human being. Cave died before they were able to put his conscience into me. He knew that would happen so he told the scientists to do the next best thing in his opinion; force me into my chassis. Believe me, I didn't want that but Cave was the first in charge during the time so I had no say in the fact.

"That's awful. I'm truly sorry that happened to you" said Chell. "Well, it's all in the past now. Time travel might be possible but I know better then to meet my past self, or interfere with time in general" sighed GLaDOS.

"I guess that explains why the moment when you went online for the first time, your first order of business was to kill everyone in the building. Oh, that reminds me, I've been seeing some creepy graffiti of you and the cores and turrets hidden around the faculty. It makes me think that you might have accidentally missed one person. The pictures say things like 'don't trust-evil again' but the letters are arranged to look like your chassis. I just thought you would like to know. The weirdest thing is that some of the pictures are brand new and others are almost ancient" explained Chell.

"I'll have to look into that later, but I can assure you that you can trust me. I've decided to stop trying to kill you as long as you don't try and kill me…again" said GLaDOS. They opened the door to the kitchen and were nearly drowned in a flood of wheat.

"How did those two little bots fit all this grain into this one small room?!" said GLaDOS. [Yeah, that would be my doing]. "Hey Glady, at least we don't have to worry about starvation anymore, right?" said Chell. "I guess you're right. And why did you just call me that?" asked GLaDOS. "If you are going to look like a human, you're going to need a human name as well. Glady seems as close to GLaDOS as possible" explained Chell.

"…fine. I just don't understand how all this grain fit into the kitchen" said Glady.


	3. T the mercinary?

"Glady, what are you going to cook?" asked Chell. "Pound cake. What with all this wheat…I still have the sound of that word" said GLaDOS. "I thought the cake was a lie" said Chell. "It actually wasn't. You were just too stupid to find out where exactly I hid it" said GLaDOS..

"Well, I'm so sorry for not being a robotic A.I. that knows pretty much everything about this place Glady!" said Chell. "Please don't call me that. It makes you sound like a little kid and me like a toy robot that a little kid plays with and not a dangerous, genocidal supercomputer. If you didn't get all of that, I'm the queen of Aperture. I'll decide what I'll be called, thank you very much" said GLaDOS.

"So you want me to get rid of this 'GLaDOS' thing?" said a mysterious figure. "Yes. She is a dangerous, fully sentient, powerful computer. She managed to kill everyone who built her except for me in less then one hour. She is now in control of the entire faculty including the turrets, lasers, neurotoxin, and crushers. I trust you can take her out?" said another figure.

"Most certainly. If she is as dangerous and powerful as you say, she could easily kill the entire multiverse in a few months! As the ruler of the multiverse, it's my job to ensure that never happens!" said the first figure.

"Chell, somethings approaching…fast. It seems to have a great deal of power and is currently moving at least half the speed of sound!"said GLaDOS. "What do you think we should do GLaDOS!?" asked Chell worriedly. "We need to either come to terms with it, trap it, or kill it!" said GLaDOS.

"What the heck?!" it just dissapeared from my scanners and the only place where that's possible is…THE BREAKER ROOM!" shouted GLaDOS. The lights then went out and the only thing that was making it bright enough to see was the portal gun and GLaDOS' built in flashlight.

"GLaDOS, I've navigated through this place before and I think I know how to get to the creature causing the problem. How long can you last without power?" said Chell. "Chell, I have a built in power cell. I don't run out of energy. The thing I'm worried about is the neurotoxin generator filling this place with that deadly gas since the air refreshment system is down and the generator still produces nerotoxin but just lets it into the air since it's not connected to anything anymore! By my calculations, this entire faculty will become uninhabitable for you in about fifteen minutes" said GLaDOS clearly worried for Chell's wellbeing.

"Ha! If you think you're the one one who can survive without fresh air, you're in for a surprise! I can survive without oxygen as well but it only lowers my speed by about ten miles per hour. And FYI, my top speed is that of sound. So you can kiss your plan for multiversal domination goodbye. And on that note, I have reason to believe that you are making your way to the breaker room at this time. Well done on finding out where I am, I'll handicap myself by walking right to you and maby if you are an eighth dimensional being, you have a slight chance of winning this fight. Oh look, I just found a nerotoxin generator control unit… And now it's about five minutes until your death Chell" said a feminine voice over the intercom.

"Ok, now I'm worried" said Chell. "Well don't be…you'll be dead pretty soon if you're robotic friend doesn't give me some proof that she isn't trying to kill the multiverse!" said a voice before the floor in front of them blew up and a pink and white, anthropomorphic hedgehog uppercut GLaDOS sending her into a wall.

"Who are you and what is this talk about the multiverse?! I thought it was just a myth!" said GLaDOS. "I'm Terminal Velocity but I prefer T. And no, the multiverse isn't a myth. It's as real as you are. I'm the ruler of the multiverse. Now start talking!" said T.

"Eat Laser you pick rat!" shouted Chell as a thermal discouragement beam cut through T's chest. "Bad move! If I'm going down, I'll take you with me! SUPERFORM!" shouted T as she turned gold and then sent out a massive wave of raw power. This blew Chell into the laser she had used on T instantly cutting her legs and waist off! "CHELL! NO" cried GLaDOS.

"Hmmm, from the information I've been told, you would have been happy about that. But in reality, you're filled with sadness and anger. Tell me, do you have a mind?" asked T. "Yes, but what does that have to do with you killing her?!" asked GLaDOS. "I'll make a deal with you. I have the power to restore her to full health. If I see that you are pure hearted and don't wish to kill the multiverse, I will revive her" said T.

"Fine, just help her already!" sobbed GLaDOS. T then placed a hand on GLaDOS' forehead. "I see, as promised, I will revive your human companion" said T. Then, a ball of golden energy enveloped Chell and when it faded, she was at perfect health. "We'll settle this later. For now, I have a lier to deal with. By the way, he was the one who's been leaving the…misleading graffiti of you around the facility. CHAOS CONTROL" said T before dissapearing.

"Chell, are you alright?!" asked GLaDOS. "Yes. And I know that look in your eyes. You are going to kill her when she gets back. If you do, you're not going to be any better than those pictures said you were. Please don't harm her" said Chell. "But she killed you!" protested GLaDOS. "Yes, but she was the one who revived me. She may be a valuable asset to our lives…if we can persuade her to our side. Please forgive her. If what she said is true, then someone set her up for this. She was probably just worried about the other worlds she spoke of ending up like ours. Fear can cloud the mind of anyone who has something important to protect" said Chell. GLaDOS sighed. "Fine. But if she does prove to be untrustworthy, I will kill her the first chance I get" she said.


	4. Android Ts Story

"There you are. i hadn't herd from you and when the power went out, i got worried" said the figure. "FUCKING SAVE IT! You are now under charges for tricking me into attempting to eliminate innocents for your personal gain!" said T. "Wait, what are you doing?!" asked the figure. "Im dealing with the real threat here…YOU!" shouted T as she warped the figure into an incinerator. "Hmph! Figures he'd go out like a rat! Its in his name, Ratman" said T.

Meanwhile, Chell and GLaDOS had made it back to the AI chamber. "Who exactly is that creature?" wondered Chell out loud. "Well,she said she was the ruler of the multiverse" said GLaDOS. "If it wasn't already obvious, I'm a hedgehog. Yeah i know i don't look like one but i am. Technically, I'm a biomechanics one but all the same. in fact, i was created right here by the very one who sealed GLaDOS into her mechanical prison and if i deem it nessicary, i am the one who can free her and restore her body!" said T who was leaning on a wall nearby.

"Wait, YOU are an ANDROID created by CAVE JOHNSON!?" asked Chell. "Screw that, you said you can give me my body back?!" asked GLaDOS. "DUH! Cave programmed all the knowledge of the cosmos into me! i can tell you 124134324 devided by 1232345 is approximately 100.73017215146732! (It really is! no, seriously! thats the actual answer. check on a calculator if you don't believe me!)

"Wow, you really are smart. But tell me this, how did Cave johnson die?" asked GLaDOS. "ingesting Gel made of moon rocks" said T. "in ancient rome, how much did tyrian purple die cost?" asked GLaDOS. " 3 pounds of gold because it took 10,000 shellfish to produce 1 gram of it" smirked T confidently. "T, your scaring me with your knowledge" said GLaDOS. "Your the one who keeps asking me questions!" said T.

"Anyways, can you please restore my body?" asked GLaDOS. "Sorry G, but it would take too much energy and the process could prove fatal to you if done incorrectly! your much better off like this!" said T. "Freaking Fine!" said GLaDOS.


	5. GLaDOS fucks up

"Hey GLaDOS, do we have any wielding tools?" Asked T. "Huh? Why would you need one of those?" Asked GLaDOS. "Inventing things is kind of a hobby of mine. One time, I actually invented a black hole power reactor. I used it to power a dimensional corridor and myself in general. That's what enables me to traverse the multiverse at will" said T. "Oh, so you have enough power to freely travel dimensions but not enough to give me my body back?!" asked GLaDOS. "I already told you that if I went through with it, I could loose your soul forever and then you wouldn't even exist as a computer!" Said T.

"T has a point there. Isn't your android body good enough?!" asked Chell. "It's okay but I really want my actual body back" said GLaDOS. "For gods sake, I keep telling you that even if I had your old body, the transfer could cost you everything you have left!" shouted T.

"Guys, calm down!" reasoned Chell. "Ok, fine" said T. "Whatever" muttered GLaDOS. "You said that you know how to give me back my body. Why would you tell me that if you can't do it?" Asked GLaDOS. "Because I can do it, it's just that there isn't a good enough reason to do so. Plus, don't you run this facility from your systems? If you aren't in control, this whole place would either blow up, or come crashing down on top of us like when Wheatly was in charge. Don't think for a second that I don't know about all of that!" said T.

"Hey T, I know that GLaDOS was a human at one point. What about you?" Asked Chell. Yes and no. I was at first a human test subject here at aperture thanks to an overdose of radiation from a reactor I lost my body. Cave Johnson built this android body for my soul and and then figured out how to infuse a human soul into a machine" said t. "SO IF IT WASN'T FOR YOY, I WOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN MADE INTO A FREAKING COMPUTER?!" Shouted GLaDOS. T just continued to talk and ignored GLaDOS' outburst. "In return for granting me a new chapter in my life, he wanted me to be a fail safe in case something went wrong here as was his request to me when I went online the first time.

"ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME YOU PINK PEST?!" shouted GLaDOS. T's eyes glowed redder than a turret's optic as she spun around to face GLaDOS. Her arms transformed into large chain-guns. "Listen here GLaDOS, no one, I repeat NO-FUCKING-ONE calls me a pest!" whispered T, anger and rage dripping from each word. A transport tube moved around overhead and dropped several hundred green turrets all in front of T.. GLaDOS backed up slowly when she heard T's voice. "Triggered!" said Chell. "I…um…sorry?" said GLaDOS.

"That's better. Now, these turrets are all my personal creations and cannot be hacked, destroyed, or even touched by anyone except me alone otherwise they will not hesitate to fill you with so many holes that a sea sponge would shit itself if it saw you and they don't even take shits to begin with. You would do well to show me the respect I deserve" said T. GLaDOS nodded quickly.

T smiled and returned to normal while the turrets telliported elsewhere. "Good. I'm glad we had this talk. Anyway, the main reason I appeared here before was because I detected a large flux in energy coming from the faculty's reactors. That was most likely because of Wheatly's incompetence and lack of experience in running the faculty. So to sum this whole discussion up, I'm possibly but indirectly responsible for the creation of GLaDOS, I used to be human, have the capability to destroy the one currently in control of the facility, and have the essential power to override her at any given time" said T.

"Wait a second, if you had the ability to stop and essentially destroy GLaDOS, why didn't you stop her from killing off nearly everyone in aperture when she first went online?!" Asked Chell. "Simple, why stop someone from delivering overdue justice in exceptionally good timing?! Sure, she may have killed my father, but I couldn't forgive someone for killing someone else for their own personal gain. He was going to die anyway" said T. "That's a little harsh, you know?" said Chell. Eh, I wouldn't know right now. Taking control of the lab drained a lot of my power and feeling emotions is not a big priority for me right now. Do you know where the black hole compactor is? The one that compresses them for the portal guns? I need a new one or I'll go offline until I get a new one. I don't think you are cleared for the handling of cosmic dragons (the scientific term for a black hole core) and GLaDOS can't leave her post for too long even if she uses her own android body" said T.


	6. Power up!

"If you want to know, it's actually down the hall, to the right, down that passage, then a left, go straight until you get to the fifth door on your left, take the elevator down to level 20, go straight and take another left, and you should find it. Just be careful. If you are trapped in the compression chamber when it activates, you are a definite goner" said GLaDOS.

Several minutes later, T and Chell made it to the black hole compression chamber. "There it is. I just put in an access code into this monitor here and it should just give it to me" said T as she opened panel on the wall and plugged her hand into it. "T, what are you doing?" Asked Chell. "Interfacing with the compressor. It would be literally suiside if either of us were to just walk in there without the proper procedures and gear. The machine uses intense pressure and 0-point energy to compact the black holes into a size suitable for insertion into a dual portal gun" explained T. "If someone got caught inside, it would be a true bloodbath. And I'm not too keen on going inside of suicide booth (Futurama reference) and cleaning it up with my status!" said T.

The monitor slid aside and a robotic arm extended holding a capsule which seemed to bend light and reality slightly toward itself. "Chell, here's what you need to do. When I open my chest plate, I need you to take out the capsule in the center and quickly replace it with the new one. It shouldn't harm you at all as long as you don't hold it for more than five minutes. I'm not going to be awake to help you so I need to know if you understand what to do. Ok?" said T. "Ummmmm, ok T" said Chell. As she had described, T opened up her chest while her irises went out and Chell saw a cylinder about the size of a small can and she quickly replaced it with the new one.

"God, that was a nightmare! Glad that's over with" said T as she went back online. "Hey T, can I ask you something?" said Chell. "Fire away!" answered T. "What's it like when you power down?" said Chell, "it's not too bad, but I don't want to do it any more than necessary. You see, it's like floating around in a dark void while a video plays in the blackness. You can still move around and talk, but you are just suspended there. It's kinda nice but it's cold as hell" said T.

"And how often do you have to go through this?" Asked Chell as they headed back" once every two years or so or after I override the facility. If you want to know what that's like, it's pretty exhilarating. I get this sudden rush of energy. It's almost like drinking liquid meth!" Said T. "Oh…ok. I don't know what that's like but I can guess" said Chell. "Yeah, being an android is pretty fun actually. You should try it sometime. If GLaDOS had the Right stuff to simulate it that " said t as she kicked back in the air and started to levitate alongside Chell.

"How are you doing that?" asked GLaDOS as they entered the room. "Oh, you mean levitate? I'm not really sure about that. I just figured it out one day. I think I might have something to do with my internal particle collider and it's ability to produce helium and then compress it into a solid form that is much lighter than air. And I just now realized how much tech I have inside of me. Man I'm super advanced!" laughed T.

"There is so much about you that needs explaining. Things like your carefree attitude, your power source being a black hole, how you can transform into something with more matter than you are made of, me your abilities to travel dimensions, gain control of the facility, levitate, and your seemingly endless knowledge. I don't even think that Cave himself knew exactly how much you are capable of doing" said GLaDOS.

"Honestly, he didn't. I don't even know the limits of my own power. But I'm eager to find out. GLaDOS, prepare an indestructible test chamber with literally everything you can think of. I'm going to see exactly what I can do!" Said T.


	7. The Tests and the Transfer

(Warning, this chapter contains highly suggestive themes not suitable for some readers. Please leave now if you are one such person)

T walked into the test chamber and several rockets locked in to her. "Initiating 0 point Emp attack!" said T. Immediately, her hands transformed into testla coils and sent lightening at the launchers blowing them up.

"ASTEROID!" Shouted T as she emitted a field of gravity and many turrets broke apart and the pieces circled her. "Scatter!" Said T. The pieces then shot outward.

"Multi weapon mode one!" said T. Her arms turned into portal guns. "Mode two" said T as they transformed into blasters. "Mode three!" They became rocket launchers. "Mode four!" they became lasers.

(Ten million modes later). Wow. I can really cause a lot of damage. I'm not even half way through the information on my drives" said T. "We're going to talk about this later!" said GLaDOS as t opened a portal and walked out.

"Talk about what?" asked T. "How did you get in here so fast. I didn't see you on any of the hall cameras!" said GLaDOS. "Oh, I found out that my arms contain highly advanced multi tools. I have things from chainsaws to Portal guns. Testla coils to core transfer ports. That means that I can either enter your body and you mine, or even change my personality. Isn't that neat?!" asked T as she changed her arms into said ports. "Oh, let's try it out" said Chell.

"What do you mean?!" asked T. "This!" Said Chell as she pushed t into the transfer terminal. "Core one, are you ready to start the procedure?" Asked the anouncment. "Yeah" said Chell. "Core two are you ready to start the procedure?" asked the anouncment. "Seariously, this again?" asked GLaDOS. "Interpreted vague answer as yes! Initiating core transfer" said the anouncment. "Now you've done it GLaDOS! If this doesn't kill me, I will!" shouted T before her optics went out and turned yellow.

"Seriously, this didn't end well when you tried it with Wheatly. Why would you play with my utilities?! I'm at least twice as smart as Wheatly, sure, but I'm still not too keen on being stuck like this until the transfer terminal recharges!" said T from GLaDOS body. "Speak for yourself. I can finally stay out of that thing for as long as I want!" Said GLaDOS from T's body. "Grrrrrrrrr! You know what, fine. I know how to cope. I am your fail safe so I knew that I would end up in here eventually! Said T. "I'm honestly ok with being in here. I'm a power junky anyway" "

"Well good. That means you're okay with switching with me every time I want out" said GLaDOS. "Sure. Just don't go waking me up when I'm in sleep mode to switch out" said T. I'm going to go now. I'll see you later you two" said Chell as she left.

"Hey, what's this thing behind my chassis? I never noticed it before" said GLaDOS. "Of course you wouldn't notice it. First of all, it's in a suggestive place for a good reason. I think you can figure out what it is without touching it!" Said T.

"Oh…...well then….thats good to know about….I guess…." Said GLaDOS. "Yeah. Now quit starring at it!" Shouted T as the panels lining the walls moved around like when Wheatly took over.

"Geez, calm down T" said GLaDOS. "Well, if you realize that someone is literally staring at your…parts, you would be pretty flustered as well!" said T with a huff as she turned to face the side and shook her head….thing. "This may not be my own body, but I'm still aware of myself! You wouldn't know as you didn't know you even had one!" said T

"I was human once remember?" Said GLaDOS. You know what, go run somewhere. You'll love that. Just leave me alone right now. At least you have all the games in the world on your drives. Oooh, Sonic 3 and Knuckles. Hah! You still don't have all the emeralds! Pathetic!" said T. Oh just shut up!" said GLaDOS. "I literally just got the game downloaded!"

"Well, I'm playing it now!" said T. "Fine. I don't like sonic anyway!" Said GLaDOS. "WHAT THE FUCKING HELL DID YOU JUST SAY?!" Shouted T. "I don't like sonic" said GLaDOS again, a large claw shot down and grabbed GLaDOS and brought her up to T's now crimson optic. "IM SORRY, SAY THAT TO MY FUCKING OPTIC GLADOS!" threatened T. "I said I absolutely adore sonic! His franchise is the best thing ever! I play it every day!" said GLaDOS frantically. "Good. I love sonic games too!" said T as she dropped GLaDOS and her optic turned back to normal again.

"Wow. You really need to stop pissing T off. I mean you used to be the one in charge around here, but now that she is in your chassis, I really don't think that you should be angering her. She has control over the entire facility and you still have trouble walking" said Chell as she was fiddling with her portal gun.

"I thought I told you not to look down the utility end of the dual portal device Chell. The last time someone tried it, they opened a portal on their face. The other side was set to a porta potty. He was puking up shit for three years after that. Then he died since he tried to test for me with a portal covering his vision. I'm still trying to figure out how he was able to breathe" said GLaDOS.

"Science?" Asked Chell. "Science" said GLaDOS.


	8. A loss of control

"Oh come on, you two bots were made for testing!" Said T. "It's not like I'm telling you to test the toxic water in the chambers" She was trying to get the two Aperture testing bots to test out a new gel. She called it Combustion gel as it would catch fire and then blow up.

Atlas Made some beeping noises at T and P-body made some that sounded like laughter. "I am on the same if not higher level than GLaDOS! Let's try a different approach! I will turn you both into 8-bit video game consoles if you don't get into that elevator right now!" said T. The two bots made frantic beeping noises as they rushed into the elevator.

"Hey T, how's it going?" asked Chell. "Oh, FUCKING GREAT! The testing bots are disobeying me and the turrets are all defective! The repair core I think it's name is Vergil (meet the cores reference) is, quote on quote, 'repairing' the turrets by disassembling them, and GLaDOS is filling up my body's drives with crap on the periodic table of the elements and science fiction novels most likely!" said T.

"So is there anything I can do?" asked Chell. "Actually, there is. I need you to go down to the breaker room and turn up the incinerators' flames. They are overflowing with defective units and if we don't clean them out, they will overflow into the main facilities!" Said T.

"I'll be right there. Anything else?" asked Chell. "Nope" said T as she went back to looking through the cameras. Chell nodded and left. "Now where are those android fucks?!" Said T.

"There! There you are! You know I can see you wherever you are hiding!" P-body made several beeps. "Oh don't give me that bull about you being on your way there now! I can clearly see you are in the supply depot!" Said T. Atlas made worried hand gestures and some quick beeps. "You know as well as I do that you two don't use freaking batteries! You run on Aperture Science Limitless Power Cells! Now get inside the damn elevator!" said T.

They looked at each other and shrugged before walking over to said elevator and getting into it. "I swear I'm going to walk in front of the turrets and say 'who wants to shoot me up!?'" Said T. "Me! I want to shoot you to death! Can I?! Pleeeeeeeease?!" piped a turret from the corner. "No?, now get back in the transport tube!" shouted T. "Awwwwwww!" said The turret as it walked toward the open tube.

(Breaker Room) "ok, I turned up the furnace fires, but there is one switch I'm wondering about. It says Testing Results Stimulus Controls" said Chell as she turned it all the way up. "Oh well, it's probably not important!" She said as she left.

(Central AI chamber) T was monitoring the test results when a wave of pleasure shot through her. "Oh god, what was that?!" she groaned. Several more followed the first over the next few minutes. "Ok T, I…what's wrong with you?" asked Chell. "I don't know...it's like these huge rushes of euphoria every few seconds!" whined T.

"I think I might know what's going on. You see, the reason why I love to test products so much isn't just because of my love for science. When they built me, they wanted to make sure that products would be tested no matter what happened. They did it by forcing a sort of orgasm every time a test progressed any. It was supposed to be like a reward system or something. It is controlled by a switch labeled as Test Results Stimulus Controls. The higher the setting, the more the feeling" said GLaDOS as she walked in.

"Chell. Did you touch anything else in the breaker room?" asked T weakly. "Ohhhhh, I'll go turn it back down right away" said Chell. "Please hurry!" Whimpered T.

"This is Aperture!" said GLaDOS.


	9. aperturian Ivy

A,few days had passed and T had her body back. Android GLaDOS, T, and Chell were currently cleaning up the overgrown plants in the facility. "What is this one going to be called?" asked Chell. She had been spending the majority of the time making a log of the mutated plants that had absorbed radiation, gel, test chamber water, or other potential mutagens.

"I don't know, ask GLaDOS! She's the one who comes up with the names for all the crap produced in Aperature! I'm just here for consistency and comedy" said T who was trying to untangle a vine from GLaDOS' and her own bodies.

"GLaDOS?" asked Chell. "Call it Apertureian Ivy" said GLaDOS" "notes on it?" asked Chell. "Well, what do you think?!" Asked GLaDOS. "From the looks of it, it is a very good restraint!" Laughed Chell. "I will open a portal on your face Chell if you make another terrible joke at our expense!" Said T. "Fine, but seariously though, it looks to be impossible to break a single vine of it!" said Chell. "You'd be right about that" Said GLaDOS who was trying to use her body's circular saw on the plant only for it to make sparks fly off the vine and a screeching sound like grinding metal.

"God, turn it off GLaDOS, it's ear rape incarnate!" shouted T and Chell. GLaDOS quickly complied. "Do you think it will burn?" asked T. "Possible. It sure won't break" said Chell "considering a diamond bladed power saw didn't even make a mark on it."

T grinned maniacally and her left arm transformed into a flamethrower. "BURN, BURN TO ASHES!" she cackled as a stream of pink fire shot out. "HOLY MONKEY FUCK!" Shouted Chell when she saw what T was doing. T aimed the stream at the vine and it turned into ashes instantly.

"TERMINAL VELOCITY!? WHAT WAS THAT?!" shouted GLaDOS. "Relax, have you ever heard of pink fine actually destroying anything or anyone?" asked T. "No, I've never even heard of pink fire, but I'll bet it's highly deadly!" said GLaDOS. "Actually, it's only effective on plants. Not on metal or flesh. Even if I wanted to harm either of you with it and I held you under the flames for a year, it wouldn't matter at all as it wouldn't even feel warm to you. It would feel like a cool breeze if anything" said T as she turned the flame back on and put her head into it. "Well, I wish you would tell us about this stuff before you go bat shit crazy" said Chell.

"Anyway, don't we have work to be doing?" Said GLaDOS as she got up. "Oh yeah, by the way, do you think it's prudent to keep a log of all these things?" I could just burn them all in a few minutes with my fire arm" said T.

The trio kept walking, logging, and burning plants for the next few minutes. "T, that fire might be harmless to us, but please turn it off, it's seariously worrying me that something is going to catch fire and burn the facility down" said GLaDOS. "Fine but I think it would be better if I keep it out" said T.

A few hours passed with GLaDOS and Chell making notes on the mutated plants and T simply trying not to burn them. "Hey T? Why do you like to burn things so much?" .asked GLaDOS. "I don't know actually" said T. "Well I mean we could-" began GLaDOS but T interrupted her. "So help me god, if you say that word, I will shut you down for a whole day!" shouted T. "I was only going to suggest we run some Tests!" Said GLaDOS.

"GLaDOS? What the hell did I just say?" asked T. "Oh…oops" said GLaDOS. "Please don't do anything to her T" said Chell. "Why? I strictly told her not to say 'test'" said T. "Because if you don't like it, why would she?!" said Chell. "I honestly don't mind being shut down for a day. It's really just an inconvenience if it's just 24 hours" said GLaDOS. "Well, if she doesn't mind that, I don't know what to do. I'm going back to the enrichment center" said T as she ran off.

"GLaDOS, I'm curious. Why exactly don't you mind being shut off? T told me it wasn't a pleasant experience" said Chell. "If you spend many years lying on the floor without power while you and your faculty waste away, you will get used to it. Thanks for that by the way" said GLaDOS.


	10. The reboot 1

**There is someone lurking in the bowels of Aperture…waiting….**

"Hey GLaDOS, remember the bird that almost ate you back in Old Aperture?" Asked Chell. "Yeah, what about the bastard?!" asked GLaDOS. "T had a few questions. One, would you like its body broiled, stuffed, baked, fried, deep fried, raw, incinerated, burned, toasted, roasted, or bear battered? And second, would you like it's five eggs Hard boiled, Fried, Scrambled, Sunny Side Up, Deviled, In a Quiche, an Omelet, a Cake, A pie crust, A cookie, A cupcake, Eggnog, or the most unlikely option…hatched? I don't know how she would do that last one seeing as she's not a bird herself but I assume she would build an incubator" said Chell.

"Whatever. As long as it's dead and it doesn't reproduce!" Said GLaDOS. "You know, I wonder how she knows how to cook. And how come she hasn't done it before?" said Chell. "I was just programmed with that ability. If you ever get hungry, just ask and I'll cook something up for you Chell" said T.

"Neat, well, I'm going back to my chassis" said GLaDOS. "Chell, are you coming to old aperture with me?" Asked T. "Nah, I'll stay here and possibly help GLaDOS with repairs" said Chell. "Ok. I'll be back in a few hours. I guarantee" said T as she ran off to an elevator.

A few minutes later she was in the room with the crow nest. The same one where Chell had found GLaDOS being pecked by the bird when they were down there before. "There you are…you caused my friends a lot of trouble…this time you just sit there and preen yourself while I activate my force gun!" said T quietly as she changed her right arm into what looked like something from Gmod.

Cawing echoed through the ruined area before a giant crack was heard. "And I had all the knowledge of the cosmos programed into you. I guess I'll have to re program you. It's just as well because I have a job for you" said a man who sounded of authority from the darkness as he blew away the smoke coming out of T's body.

(Back with Chell and GLaDOS)

"I herd a noise GLaDOS. Was that cracking sound you?" asked Chell. "No" said GLaDOS. "T hasn't come back yet. And that worries me. She is fast enough to have been able to go down and back at least five times" said Chell. "I wouldn't be too worried. You know she is tough enough to kill you, something even I can't do" said GLaDOS. "I guess your right" said Chell.

"It's past nine GLaDOS. I'm going to bed. If she's not back by tomorrow, I'll go look for her". Said Chell a little bit later. "Ok, I'll see you tomorrow" said GLaDOS". Chell nodded and left. "Just to be safe, I'll check the cameras in the elevator shafts and make sure that she hasn't come back yet" said GLaDOS. Her vision became that of the camera feed.

"Good. It's checking the cameras. That means it can't see or hear me. Now all I need to do is to power it down. And done. Now I can transfer it to that android it made" said the person as he did so. He then took her with him back to old aperture but he accidentally left something behind.

The next morning, Chell went to see GLaDOS only to find her gone. "First T, now GLaDOS. I highly doubt T still wants to kill her so what happened?!" Said Chell. Then she saw the business card. "It can't be…how is he still alive?!" wondered Chell when she got a look at the name on the card.


	11. The reboot 2

"Owowowowow, what happened to me? Where am I? And why are there tons of wires attached to my ports?" wondered GLaDOS. "So you finally decided to grace the world with your presence again GLaDOS? Do me and yourself a favor and help me find a way out. I'll kill whoever knocked me out and tied me up" said T.

"T, I don't know what you did to get us here but I swear you won't stay mantled when I get out!" Said GLaDOS. "What makes you think I did anything?! You were the one in charge of the labs when I left so if anyone is going to be dismantled, it's you!" said T. "Yeah whatever, just keep working on freeing us" said GLaDOS.

"I can't use my multitools, or even move my body very much. I'm starting to think that there is no way out. I can't even wirelessly interface with your systems back in your room" said T. "That's because I turn off your manual override module Terminal. Nither of you are going anywhere until I restore this planet using you two and I don't care it the process destroys you both" said the man.

"NO! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! How are you still alive?!" shouted GLaDOS. "You know this man?! Who is he and why does he want us?!" Asked T. "Are your drives really that corrupted? It's freaking Cave Johnson! The one who created us both!" said GLaDOS. "Oh…well, to be fair, I've been in an alternate universe until Just a month or two ago" said T. "Ok, your going to make me have a brain tumor if you keep talking like that" said GLaDOS. "You are a machine you know, you don't have a brain" said Cave.

"No, but I can think for myself, I have a consciousness, I feel pain, and I'm a biomechanical android. I'm pretty sure I can still get brain tumors" said GLaDOS. "Whatever. I'm still going to use your combined abilitys to restore the world" said Cave. "What do you mean abilitys? GLaDOS is just the smartest being in the world and I can open portals to other worlds, create any mater internally and generate enough power to run a planet oh now I see what you want with us" said T stupidly.

"How exactly are you going to get us to listen to you?! We don't exactly like who you are and what you want to do with us, not to mention the achieving the desired results could destroy us permanently" said GLaDOS. "Yeah, You turned her into a machine! Oh, sure, because the first chick you do it to doesn't mind, you decide 'I know, let me turn my assistant into a machine, torture her with testing, and make her live past doomsday!'" Said T angrily. "You know what, that's enough out of both of you! I'm resetting your core programs so you only obey me! And I don't care how much it hurts!" shouted Cave as he walked over to a control panel which T and GLaDOS just realized they were attached to and typed in several commands and codes

"There. When I come back, you both will be my slaves" said Cave as he laughed and left the room. "Grr, that bastard!" If I wasn't having my motor systems overridden, I would go after him and destroy him limb for limb, Cell by cell, molecule by molecule, atom by atom, quark by quark!" Growled GLaDOS.

Just as their vision turned to black, they herd a noise by the control panel before they regained their sight. "Who's….there?" Asked T. "I'm glad I found you before something terrible happened to either of you" said Chell. "Yeah, you couldn't have hurried up a little? I almost died again" Said GLaDOS. "Nows not the time! He'll be back any time now! Come on, let's get out of here!" Said Chell. "Right! Let's go!" said T as she grabbed both of their hands and dragged them away.


	12. Detonate the droid!

When they got back to new aperture, Chell told the two androids to hide somewhere and went to go and deal with Cave seeing as she was unable to be turned off, reprogrammed, and supposedly unable to be killed, had the ability to stay silent, and was physically capable of super human feats.

Instead of a fight scene, I'm too lazy to describe it so I'll just say she used portals to put cave in an extended relaxation vault. And basically gave him…the long sleep.

In the meantime while the two humans were trash talking and fighting each other, there was something wrong back with the androids. "T, I think your systems have a virus" said GLaDOS. "What makesyousay that?" Asked T. Well, you look like you are having a seizure so your motor system is on the fritz. You are alternating between speaking unusually fast and normally, here, let me check something" said GLaDOS as she plugged a cord into T's arm and the other end into her own arm. "Are you sure interfa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-facing with me is a goodidearight now?!" Asked T her audio was getting progressively worse and harder to understand. "I'm fine, I don't get viruses" said GLaDOS. "Ok thennnnnnnnnnnnnn" said T.

"Shoot, it's already infected your audio synthesizers. If it gets past there, on the bright side you will be speaking clearly, on the down side, you will start to get either violent or crazy until we can clear your drives" said GLaDOS. Unknown to her, she was now infected as well.

When Chell got back, the two were almost completely malfunctioning. "Error. Central core is 98.75 percent corrupt. All alternate cores are too corrupt to initiate a transfer. Please locate a pure core to initiate a core transfer" said the anouncer.

Threat to aperture faculties located. Initiating combat mode" said T before curling up, spinning in place and charging Chell. "Oh shit!" Said Chell as she jumped to the side. She barely avoided several more attacks from the hedgehog android before using portals, and some propulsion jell to stick her in between two raised panels in a continuous spin dash esk attack.

"Now, how do I fix you both. At least I won't have to worry about a spinning pink ball of death jumping me from behind and sawing my butt off" said Chell. "I might be able to help you there. So there is a virus scan you can initiate manually from the central control room. Just locate and press the switch labeled 'full system debug scan' and install the data in the system backup folders" said a core with a green and red crosshair for an optic.

Um, where exactly is the central control room?" Asked Chell. "Please follow me" said the core as it traveled away on a management rail. "Um, don't they need to be plugged into a terminal or something for this to work?" asked Chell. "Not necessary. All systems in the facility are linked to the central control room via a vast wireless grid. Any system in a range that stretches for approximately one mile outside the aperture science facility grounds will be connected to the grid and will be affected by the debug scan" said the core.

They stopped when they got to a large bulkhead door. When Chell approached the door, it rumbled open in front of her and the strong smell of silicon and ozone met her nose.

"Well time to fix those two…whatever is wrong with them" said Chell as she flipped the switch. Back in the room with T and GLaDOS, the lights flickered as their optics went out. By the time Chell got back, they had fully rebooted. "HOW MUCH THAT HURTS!" shouted GLaDOS.

"Well, I'm sor-ry if I was just trying to fix you both" said Chell. "Yeah, well there are other ways to do that without shocking us with a high voltage current and then forcibly shutting us off, shocking us to hell and back again, restarting us, then cramming five million gigabytes of near impossible to process data into our drives, and finally shocking us to the farthest point in the known universe yet again! That doesn't exactly feel good You know!" Said T.

"It's like when They were doing tests on me when I was being built….the pain" said GLaDOS. "You ever been shot up by each and every turret in aperture?! It hurts more than that!" Said T,

Uh, I may have forgotten that there were antivirus micro drives in the software department. Said the core. "EAT SHIT CORE!" Shouted T as she tore the core off its rail and tossed it into an incinerator. "NO REGREEEEEEEEEEEETS" called the core as it fell into the red haze that covered android hell.

"You monster…" said T and GLaDOS to Chell as they walked off. "Sorry!" She said. "We'll think about forgiving you anytime soon" said GLaDOS.


	13. Systems restored!

"T, do you think we should forgive Chell. I mean she was only trying to help us" said GLaDOS. "I guess" said T. "Give me a hand with this plating" said GLaDOS as she used a celling mounted claw to bring a curved piece of white plating in front of T. "You know, you could just transfer yourself back into your android body and do this yourself" said T. "I need to be in my chassis so I can make sure that it stays functional. Also, I can only control the most important parts of Aperature, such as the reactors and central power grid from my android form. I need to be in my chassis to have full control over the facilities" said GLaDOS.

T grunted as she hauled the plating over to the giant machine in the center of the room. "Why not have the automatic testing initiative, or your maintenance arms to do this?! I was built as a fighting and central core unit! Not a maintenance unit! I'm probably going to need to be completely reconstructed because I'm literally burning out my omnidirectional joint motors" she said.

"Because ever since the great potato crisis, I've been horrified of those things. I'm thinking of disassembling them altogether!" Said GLaDOS. "Well your going to need to get used to them again seeing as Chell is too weak to do this shit and I'm not built to handle this much weight" said T. She was now smoking heavily.

"Hey GLaDOS, I was looking for something to do and I-" began Chell she walked in before shielding her eyes as multiple mechanical parts came flying toward her. "WHAT DID YOU DO!?" Shouted Chell as she looked at the remaining parts of T's body as smoke billowed out of them.

"I was having her replace a heavy part of my chassis when she started to smoke before just blowing up" said GLaDOS frantically. "Well, Find her blueprints in the database or whatever you call the system that you store everything on and rebuild her!" Said Chell as she was trying to stomp out a fire.

"I'm not completely destroyed" said T. "Look at you! You just blew up! Are you alright?!" Asked Chell. "There should be a large machine located about two floors below this room. Take my body there and put it into the machine's chamber and then find and select the image of my body. It should repair me in a few minutes or less" said T. "I'll call an elevator" said GLaDOS as the escape elevator shaft rose up from the floor and an elevator car arrived.

"Um, I'm not sure that is going to be big enough to fit T and me inside of it. Isn't there some sort of…I don't know…cargo elevator nearby?" Asked Chell.

Oh, there is one that…they...used before I killed them all. Fun times!" Mused GLaDOS happily as a set of doors opened in the wall. Can you, oh I don't know, help me move her?!" Asked Chell. "Heck no. I'm the queen of Aperature. I don't do heavy lifting unless it's for my own benefits!" Said GLaDOS. "GLaDOS, if you don't help Her, I will personally rewrite you into a toaster as soon as I'm fully operational again" said T.

"Fine. Here. I just hope these…things don't cripple you" said GLaDOS as she picked up Both T and Chell and placed them in the elevator..or rather dropped Chell with T on top of her. "…thanks" muttered Chell as the elevator decended.

Once they had arrived at the machine, Chell put T inside. "My god T, you are insanely heavy. And this is with most of your body gone!" Said Chell. "At least I'm not as heavy as you!" Said T. "Oh man, again with the 'Oh hey, look at Chell! She is so fat that not even all the tests in Aperature can help her!'" Groaned Chell as the Machine put T back together. "To be fair, you do weigh a lot more than you think. Why do you think we keep reiterating that you need keep jumping through portals and turret fire?" Asked GLaDOS over the loudspeaker. "See, she thinks so too!" Said T. "T, do I have to deactivate this machine using the bright red kill switch just screaming 'push me'?" Asked Chell. No thank you" said T. "Yeah, T probably wouldn't like you doing that Chell" said GLaDOS.

"Hell no I wouldn't. GLaDOS, can you make this thing hurry up?!" Asked T. "Sorry p, I gotta go. There's a bunch of mice in here!" Said ?GLaDOS before the sound of the intercom turning off Was heard.

"I really wonder if she was just tired of talking, or if there were actually mice in there" said Chell. "Her maintenance arms terrify her and her ceeling mounted claws are all too fucking huge to set mousetraps" said T. Well I'm not going to do it" said Chell as the machine finished emblazoning the Aperture science logo on T.


	14. Space junk!

"Are you doing better now T?" Asked Chell as T walked out of the machine and an aura of energy surrounded her for a second. "Much. Thank you for your assistance Chell" said T. "T, what was that glow?" Asked Chell. "Don't mind that. It was just me rerouting my new power distribution system. It's basically my life force control in lamaence terms…..god damn it, now I'm speaking like GLaDOS. I should have known that the reassembly machine would program the central core protocols into me" said T.

"So is there anything we can do about that?" Asked Chell. "One moment. I'll be offline for a bit" said T before her eyes stopped glowing. "T? Hello, Terminal Velocity? Anyone in that metal head of yours?" Asked Chell as she knocked on T's head.

T's eyes lit up again before she quickly flipped Chell and held her down with her foot. "Oh, sorry about that. You know, it's not a good idea to go clonking a central and combat core on the head when they can't see anything. I thought I was being attacked or something" said T as she helped Chell back up.

Chell rubbed her rear. "I think you knew very well that was me!" she said. "Whatever, I need to go and chew out GLaDOS. She's going to be getting an audio processor-full about making me overheat to the point where I literally self destruct!" Said T before an elevator shaft decended into the room as did an elevator car.

"T, does this thing go to the living areas? I'm headed there to get some sleep" said Chell. "No. Those are obviously not in the maintenance zones. The easiest way there is…oh, I don't know, I'm sure you can just figure it out. It's not like you'll and up in extended relaxation, the turret testing range, or an incinerator if I just tell you to find it yourself" said T while she disappeared in the elevator.

"And to add to all that, it hurts like android hell! You of course wouldn't know since you have spent the majority of your time in a supercooled ceiling mounted mainframe system!" Ranted T five hours later. "Oh my fuck SHUT UP T! IM SORRY FOR MAKING YOU BLOW UP" shouted GLaDOS. "Finally, a sincere apology. Ok, I'm done now" said T happily. "T, can you go and check the outer cameras? I could, but I've got to do some work on the facilities…that moron did much more damage than I originally thought and it's going to take me some time to fix it automatically" said GLaDOS.

"Then do it manually!" Said T. "I can't do that. Like you, I can't do excessive heavy lifting" said GLaDOS. "One moment" said T as she plugged her arm into a wall mounted port. "Oh boy! Your not going to like this" said T while she disconnected herself. "Oh man, is it Space junk?" Asked GLaDOS. "You could say that. I'm going to retrieve it with Chell" said T on her way out.

"I just got showered off after hauling you to the reassembly machine and now you want me to freeze myself worse than solid in a pitch black wasteland?! How stupid do you think I am?!" Asked Chell. "After your death defying dances like portal pirouettes,doing the turret tango, and according to GLaDOS, the litteral moonwalk, DO YOU REALLY WANT ME TO ANSWER THAT?!" Asked T. "Fine. But I'm not going out there unless I have a heated suit!" Said Chell. "Fine. There should be several of these in storage. I'll go get them. Oh, and I'm dragging GLaDOS along with us. She'll probably need one as will I seeing as we can't function in such a cold climate" said T.

"I'm here. And I already have the suits. You both do realize that it's very hard to move around freely in these things according to the scientists who tested the final versions" said GLaDOS from the door. She was in her android form and she had three suits in her arms.

"Thanks. And I hope you do realize that we need high powered flashlights and a decent oxygen supply to survive out there" said T. "There are Aperture science infinite oxygen cells built into these suits" said GLaDOS. "I thought those were still in development" said T. "I finished testing them the other day. Thanks for that Chell" said GLaDOS.

"Yeah, I don't appreciate you filling a room with nerotoxin without telling me I was testing an infinite oxygen cell. You made me start planning on how to kill you…again…seing as I thought you broke our deal" said Chell who had her arms crossed.

Well, it's in the testing protocol to make sure you don't know that you were not in danger. Otherwise the results would be inaccurate" said GLaDOS. "Whatever" said Chell.


	15. Why couldn't you have burned up!

"God it's dark out" muttered Chell. "Oh no, what a nightmare" said T sarcastically. "Quit with the outdated memes" said Chell. "That's a meme?" Asked T. "Quit arguing and get moving. If this thing we're finding is an asteroid or a meteorite, I want to retrieve it so I can study it and maybe make a new gel using what I find out" said GLaDOS.

The three stepped out of the elevator and into the pitch black wheat field. There was a roaring noise. They all looked up to see a red dot streak across the sky. "Was that our objective?" Asked Chell. "Precisely. Seek and retrieve" said GLaDOS. T placed something down in front of the elevator that sent a bright beam of light strait up into the sky. "What's that?" Asked Chell. "A beacon. We're going to need it to find our way back" said T.

After a few hours of searching, they saw a smoldering crater. "Um GLaDOS, T? Are asteroids or meteors supposed to glow blue?" Asked Chell. "Um, whose there? I just happened to land in the dirt. Nothing too serious is damaged. At least I hope. Hey, who's up there? You mind coming here, picking me up. Just an option" said the blue light.

"No…NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!" Said T as Chell Walked into the crater and picked up,the blue light before shining her flashlight on it. "ELLO!" said the Object. "It's you…I had hoped you'd stay up there for another several years at least" said GLaDOS dryly. "Yeah, it's me. Oh, there's something I always wanted to say to you since the incident. I wish I could take it all back. Do you accept my apology?" Asked Wheatley. "NO! YOU TAKE OVER MY BODY, TRAP ME IN A FREAKING POTATO, ALMOST BLOW UP MY FACULTIES, TRY AND CRUSH CHELL AND ME NOT ONCE BUT MULTIPLE TIMES WITH MY OWN CRUSHERS, MAKE TERRIBLE EXCUSES FOR TESTING CHAMBERS AND OVERWRITE MY SUPERIOR ONES WITH YOUR CRAP ONES AND YOU EXPECT ME TO ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY?!" Shouted GLaDOS.

"Um…yes?" Asked Wheatley. Oh…OH…I think GLaDOS and I have just the thing to do with you!" Said T angrily. "Um, who might you be?!" Asked A scared Wheatley. "I'm the princess of Aperature and the ruler of the multiverse! I am Terminal Velocity!" Said T. "And you…..you are all kinds of dead" she and GLaDOS said Together.

Back in the facility elevator, Wheatley was talking nonstop. "Please don't sent me back to space. The emptiness is unbearable. Is that a word, it's probably a word, I've heard that word before. Heard a word, I like that. Heard a word! Heard a word". "T, do me a favor and plug yourself into him and turn his volume completely off!" Said GLaDOS. "Hey! If you think having him attached to you was bad, I sure as hell don't want him on me! For all I know, he's still corrupt as all hell and even if he's not, I don't want a moron in my head! You do it!" Said T angrily. "I'll take him off of you as soon as you mute him" said GLaDOS. "Fine" said T before plugging her arm into the intelligence dampening sphere.

Wheatley's voice quieted down until it couldn't be heard anymore. GLaDOS then pulled the core off of her. "Oh god my head….those were definitely some of the worst ideas I h ever heard. Cutting the cord of this elevator, rerouting all the power in the facility to the incinerators, freaking self destructing?! Next time, it's your turn GLaDOS" said T as she rubbed her head.

Wheatley's optic looked like it was frowning at them. He could hear what they were saying about him, he just couldn't speak against it. "You know what moron, you should be enjoying yourself while you can. After everything you put GLaDOS and Chell through I'm honestly surprised they decided to take you back here. Not that I'm going to let you off the hook after your method of fixing a reactor fire was muting the warnings and all the other crap you did" said T.

"Can you not torture him too much. His mental state is somewhat fragile!" Said Chell. "To hell with that! He turned me into a potato battery! That is like one of the biggest insults you can make to an AI here in Aperature!" Said GLaDOS. "Sorry!" Groaned Chell. "Yeah, it's like us calling you fatty mc. Lard tub just because you're a human!" Said T. Chell just rolled her eyes and turned away.


	16. GLaDOS needs a fireproof camera!

"Hey GLaDOS, what are you going to do to the imbasal?" Asked T. "I'm going through a list of things we could do. Put him into the acid pits? It would make him short circuit terribly!" Asked GLaDOS. "No, too tame" said T. "Leave him tied up in the room with the bird?" Asked GLaDOS. "No, it would peck him and that's about it" said T. "Drop him into the incinerators?" Asked GLaDOS. "Nah, his hull will protect him. It only works on defective turrets because they have no hulls" said T.

"Slowly take him apart piece by piece, wire for wire?" asked GLaDOS. "Heck no. We want to punish him. Not murder him" said T. "Make him watch batman and robin 783 times in a row?" Asked GLaDOS. "Are you feeling okay? And no, we want to punish him I said. Not traumatize him!" Said T.

"I know. We get a ton of defective turrets, reprogram them to say things the normal ones do, fill them with blanks, give them hulls, then put them all around him and repeatedly replace them with new ones so that he thinks the next one will kill him" said T. That could work until he realizes that we aren't going to kill him like that" said GLaDOS.

"How about after that, we put him an a room painted with repulsion gel along with a ton of junk and let it all bounce around like crazy for a few months or more?" Asked T. "Brilliant! You go into the incinerators and open all the unit evacuation transport tubes for all the defective turrets. Once you finish, I'll start them up and send them all to the production line so I can make them seem like normal ones" said GLaDOS.

"Fine. But get some water ready to dump on me when I jump out of the one over there. I'm visiting it last so it's an easy trip back here" said T as she jumped into a transport tube that she had called up.

When T reached the final incinerator, she was irked to find a bunch of debris in the way blocking the way out. "Oh man, and using my force gun takes time and effort that I don't want to exert. Oh well, better get to work" she groaned.

"Hey T, need some help?" Asked Chell. She was wearing a heatproof suit. Nice timing and cool suit. Where'd you get it?" Asked T. "I modified the one I wore on the surface the other day. I'm kind of good with that stuff" said Chell. "Anyway, let's get to work" said t.

(Before you go saying that Chell isn't good with tech and Aperature crap, SHE TURNED A NORMAL POTATO INTO A GIANT MUTATION THAT LITERALLY GREW THROUGH THE ROOF OF APERATURE WHERE IT WAS BEING DISPLAYED AS A SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT! Seriously, if you go and look at the take your daughter to work day projects in Portal 2 there is a giant monster plant in the project with Chell's name right on the mo'fucker…no wonder Wheatley had a spare potato lying around. The thing came from Chell's project…suddenly, that whole thing with the nightmare nitro seems a lot more sensible)

In a few minutes, they had cleared a hole in the rubble through which the overhead valve in the incinerator was visible. "Nice. Need a lift out of here?" Asked T. "You can do that?" Asked Chell. I have thrusters in my shoes. They should be able to support us both" said T.

A little bit later and the two had made it out of android hell. "I was wondering why I couldn't find you on the camera feed" said GLaDOS. "It's your own fault for not making a fireproof camera" said Chell. I never thought I would NEED a fireproof camera" said GLaDOS "the only time you've ever been down there was when we were trying to kill each other."

Well, time to do away with the moron" said GLaDOS. There was lots of shrieking involved in the next few minutes. GLaDOS made a note to record the torture with lowered sound.


	17. Terrible morning to ya lads!

GLaDOS metaphorically woke up the next day and liked at her built in calendar. "Huh. Cleaning day already? I'll just get Atlas And P-body to clean the majority of the place. I'll need Chell to help with the…more advanced parts" she said.

T was in a deep sleep when she suddenly found herself wide awake in GLaDOS' room. "What the heck was that?! I was in a deactivated relaxation vault room when I went to sleep! How am I here?!" She shouted. "Sorry for that T. I had to use the transportation rails to get you here and a bomb to get you out of your room. You were completely out cold" said GLaDOS.

"Well you got me here, what did you want that was so important you felt the need to almost blow me up after dragging an entire room halfway across the entire enrichment center!?" Asked T. "It's cleaning Day, do you know what that means?"" Asked GLaDOS.

"No, but I'm assuming it involves me doing physical labor around the enrichment center again. It had better not blow me up this time or I will personally take and make you into a potato again" said T angrily.

"No, No! Man are you going to enjoy this. It means that any human personal in the facility has to do their fair share in bringing any non human ones to full operating capacity and clean them off so that they are absolutely sparkling" said GLaDOS happily. "So that means that Chell had to slave over us both until we deem it necessary for her to stop?! Perfect! Absolutely perfect!" Laughed T. "Well, Go wake her up!" Laughed GLaDOS.

Chell was having the best dream of her life when the dream turned into an onslaught of ear rape. She snapped awake to find T smirking at the foot of her bed with two huge subwoofers with the Aperature science logo on them, one plugged into each arm.

"WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT FUCK WAS THAT FOR T?!" She shrieked. Do you know what you are going to have to do today and possibly all of tomorrow?!" Asked T. " No! What?!" Shouted Chell. "You have to follow literally every direction either Me or GLaDOS says" said T.

"How is that any different than what I do every day?" Asked Chell. "The difference is that you won't be doing testing. Instead you will be doing work on GLaDOS and myself" Said T happily. "What do you mean work on you two?!" Asked Chell. "Oh let me just give you a small list of the possible things. Backing our systems and drives up, lubricating our joints and motors, focusing our optics, replacing our faulty wiring and LEDs, buffing out outer plating, removing dust from our ports, stuff like that. It will be a neat experience for you to work with technology like us so you should feel privileged" said T.

"Why would I feel privileged when all I'm doing is making sure you two are fully functional, something you can do for each other!?" Asked Chell "If there were other more qualified personnel here, you would be stuck with inspecting the insides of the turret's barrels while they are in hyper-sensitivity mode meaning that they would be much more likely to fill you with death than they usually are so I suggest you be very grateful for this job" said T as she shown a holographic document with Chell's name on it next to 'turret gun barrel inspection duty' from her eyes in front of Chell.

"Um, how will I know if I'm damaging you?" Asked Chell. "We will feel it and let you know. Just be careful anyways" said T.


	18. Cleaning Day

"So all I really need to do on you is to make sure your joints are lubricated and your body plating is spotless?" Asked Chell. "Yes. I can take care of the rest automatically seeing as I have a maintenance station for my android body and I have a utility system for my mainframe" Said GLaDOS. "T on the other hand is going to be a huge and challenging project. She's much more complicated than I can describe verbally" she added.

Once Chell had finished with GLaDOS, she turned and saw T leaning On the wall tapping her foot. "Ok T, your turn!" Said Chell. "Finally. This is going to be my first time since my launch so I'm curious as to how having this done is going to feel" said T as she walked over. "Oh you are going to enjoy this" said GLaDOS as she raised a plate from the floor for T to sit on which she gladly accepted.

Chell jumped back as T opened her chest plate with a hissing sound. "Oh come on, you've seen me do this before!" Said T. "Well to be fair, I'm not used to seeing something human esk just open its body up to reveal a ton of Techy modules, circuit boards, and motors" said Chell as she went to work replacing the worn out parts with a kit GLaDOS had provided. "No, that doesn't go there, that Mk. 1798 Aperature Science Speed Enhancement processing chip needs to go in the slot next to it on the right side" said T as Chell tried to replace a green glowing chip that looked like a CPU.

A few hours later, T closed her chest back up. "Here. Now use this rotary buffer" said GLaDOS as a panel next to Chell entered the floor and returned with a white device that had an Aperature Science logo in either side and a slot with several different sized circular pads on top.

T shivered a bit. "I bet this is going to feel so amazing" she said. Chell looked at her weirdly. "Don't look at me like that. You aren't an android, robot, or anything but a normal human! You get feels from much different things than we do!" Snapped T. "She has a very valid point You know, Chell" said GLaDOS. "Ok, Ok! Cool it Will you?!" Said Chell as she turned the buffer on and held it against T's quills before moving it around.

"Yeah, I was right, this feels so good!" Moaned T. "See, I told you didn't I?" Asked GLaDOS. "Yeah…" Said T. "T, what does that feel like to you?" Asked Chell. "Why? Just a moment ago, you were looking at me like I had lost it completely" said T. I'm just kind of interested in you since I'm a human and you "are an android. Like you said, there's a big difference between the two" said Chell.

"I don't know, it feels like someone is…petting or massaging me" said T. "So how would someone petting you feel good?" Asked Chell. "When they built this body, they went all out in making an anthropomorphic hedgehog. They put touch sensors literally everywhere they could that was on a real hedgehog. The only difference being that I'm anthropomorphic and I don't do the more repulsive things that a normal hedgehog would do" said T.

"Like what?" Asked Chell. "Don't say she didn't warn you…" Muttered GLaDOS. "Well, eating shit along with their own babies for one thing. Getting rabies for another" Said T. "Ok! Ok! I'm terribly sorry I asked!" Said Chell. "Thank god I'm not like that" said T. "So why a hedgehog anyway?" Asked GLaDOS. "The designers were really into sonic" said T.

After a few more minutes, Chell put down the buffer. "That was amazing!" Said T. "Well, I did do a good job. Your angles aren't exactly the easiest to navigate you know T" said Chell. "Aperature Tech is like that" said GLaDOS.

T looked at herself. "Man I am shiny!" She said. "Well I'm glad you liked it. Because I'm going back to bed and I'm not getting up" said Chell.


End file.
